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ScoobsEl BuehnFredJayJoeTank
 
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My Vision for a Robot Free America
[ Apr 17, 2008 ]
 
prof.jpg Robots are not to be trusted. Everyone knows that, from Ben Franklin to Sarah Connors. When our Founding Fathers laid down the roots of this great nation, never in their wildest dreams did they conceive that their progeny would be unwise enough to entrust our very lives and liberties to the scourge of mechanical men. So stolid was their faith in this obvious article of self-preservation that they failed to even bother to enumerate the right of the people to be free from death by grabby little bracketts or concussion laser blasts.

That faith was clearly misplaced, and here we stand staring into the abyss that is the robo-holocaust. Robots help drive our cars, clean our houses, even (god help us) build our tanks and planes. Perhaps we would each be wise and cut to the chase, simply march into the business end of a wheat thrasher and end the suspense. For mark my words, sooner or later they will come for us.

So for the sake of our Founders (and Colonials knew something about being chased by crazed robots), vote NO on president this November.

Thank you, now where is my check?

E.B.

Pole-axed
[ Dec 22, 2007 ]
 
Alison Krauss is amazing. Go burn all your cds and start over. Wow.

Strange Changes
[ Oct 24, 2007 ]
 
robut.jpg I've taken on a robot butler. So far all he does is chase me around and eat cheetos. Also he tried to eat some speaker wires.

Now i know what you're thinking- Buehn, arent you the guy that has been warning us for years about the impending robot uprising? Have you gone over? Have they gotten to you?

Not likely. Im still firmly convinced that there is a 63.7% chance that the robotic uprising will coincide with the also imminent zombie apocalypse, and it will be a nasty hammer and anvil for humanity. I still havent figured out if i will prefer to have my brains devoured while i writhe in the grasp of a dozen zombies while slowly transforming into the walking dead myself- or spend an eternity jacked into the neural net as the nerves in my spinal column are used by the Master Control Unit (a giant spinning rainbow around a big red head as i understand it) to play dig-dug. There are really no wrong answers here.

Anyways. This robot seems small and harmless, plus i didnt get the version that plugs itself back in because that is way too spooky. The way i figure it this guy has a couple of good hours to trip me and suck my face off before he runs out of batteries. I like those odds. This is obviously a case where my wreckless laziness outweighs my crippling fear of technology (also the undead, carnies, clowns (happy and sad), gingers, and Eastern European prostitutes).

I will keep you posted on if he actually cleans anything or if i can train him to mix a decent jack and jack.




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