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My iPod
[ Aug 20, 2006 ]
 
snakes.jpg 1. Snakes on a Plane (Bring It) - The Academy Is..., Cobra Starship, Gym Class Heroes, , The Sounds
2. Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage [Tommie - Panic! at the Disco,
3. Black Mamba [Teddybears Remix] [Mix] - The Academy Is...
4. Ophidiophobia - Cee-Lo Green, Organized Noize,
5. Can't Take It [El Camino Prom Wagon Mix][Mix] - The All-American Rejects,
6. Queen of Apology [Patrick Stump Remix] [Mix] - The Sounds
7. Of All the Gin Joints in All the World [Tommie Sunshine's Brooklyn Fire - Fall Out Boy
8. New Friend Request [Hi-Tek Remix] [Mix] - Gym Class Heroes
9. Around the Horn [Louis XIV Remix] [Mix] - The Bronx
10. Remember to Feel Real [Machine Shop Remix] [Mix] - Armor for Sleep
11. Wine Red [Tommie Sunshine's Brooklyn Fire Retouch] [Mix] - The Hush Sound
12. Bruised [Remix] - Jack's Mannequin
13. Wake Up [Acoustic] - Coheed & Cambria,
14. Lovely Day - Donavon Frankenreiter
15. Hey Now Now - Michael Franti, Spearhead
16. Snakes on a Plane - The Theme - Trevor Rabin
(THANKS SAMUEL L JACKSON)

also:
I Predict a Riot- Kaiser Chiefs
Super Fire- Girls against Boys
Halo- The Cure (thx Julie)
This Modern Love- Bloc Party (Julie)
God's gonna cut you down- Johnny Cash (God)
Hallelujah- Jeff Buckley
Red Dust- Calexico & Iron & Wine (Julie)

And most importantly be sure to check out:
Noodles with Teeth - Jenny's Midnight Screamatorium

Goodbye
[ Jul 19, 2006 ]
 
flaminghead.jpg Lots to cover, so i must be brief.

-We played a show at Castaways last Thursday for a tiny Johnny Cash and a lobster. Also for a birthday party that was regailed by Jay rewriting the birthday song in the form of experimental punk/jazz/brail fusion. Then I drank 10 Mai-tais and passed out in car on the way home.

-Show at Joe's on Saturday. Note to self- Christmas in July is not fun when it is 109 degrees. And thats in the air-conditioned bar. Crowd was O.O.C., but not amused with the Santa antics. Then I drank 10 jack and diets and passed out.

-Former TA keyboardist and always TA family member Steve Schmitty Schmister Schmit was married on Sunday on a mountain with lutes playing and flowers. Actually it was a really impressive wedding. Very very fun, particularly with Suge Knight on the lead vocals of the orchestra. Gine sat in for a lovely song and then Then Again played a quick one with 88 fingers himself tickling the ivorys. The most memorable part was Tank tuning the guys guitar and then the guy disgustedly trying to get it back out of tune to his satisfaction for another 20 minutes while his band played on. Strange night, a former professor of mine was the orchestras keyboardist. Weird. My lovely date Julie could barely keep her cloths on it was so off the fridge. Then I drank 10 whatever i could find sitting on the table that probably belonged to Joe and passed out.

Joe, Gine, Lady J and I are heading for Mexico tomorrow. Only this time, not one step ahead of the law (that i know of). I mention this only because it leads to another stupid story, a tie in, and a link.

So it may be difficult to believe, but i tend to burn up in the hot Mexican sun pretty easy. The sun is not my friend, mainly because im a nerdy little white guy that gets most of his Vitamin C from computer screens. So in the interest of me not laying on my stomach in the hotel room for days on end in sunburned agony, I came up with The Plan. The Plan consists of absolutely refusing to get any sort of base tan via laying out or going to a tan bed (also working out or dieting, but thats neither here nor there). Then, and here is the clever part, I simpy give up on a tan altogether and sop on the highest level SPF Infinity i can find, thwarting the sun's even plot to get me. This plan is surefire, but there is one needling problem- you ever see one of those transparent, jelly-like squids oozing around a beach chair poolside while you're trying to choke down a daquiri? I have not, basically because in my natural state, I am that squid. Its not appealing, and the glare can be dangerous to low flying planes toting signs that are telling me what to do. I am easily impressionable poolside.

This is when The Plan evolved, showing further the brilliance of the plan in its flexibility. Julie, being astonishly patient with me, decided we could go spray tanning so I could skip all the mysterious 'UV' radiation intent on bacofying me. Orange is better than transparent, and since my further plan (Plan B) involved trading up my drinking recepticle from a coconut to a pumpkin, this could work out nicely. So Julie went a day before me (i was scared having witnessed the episode of Friends where Ross kept getting blasted in the face- and he's a dinosaur guy which makes him smarter than me. but whinier) and told me The Process, which shall here-to-for be referred to as The Process subsidiary to The Plan (Plan A). Or just The Process.

So i went to the tanning place, and this is where reading HTTP://www.straightfromthemut.com came in handy. I thought i was mentally prepared for The Process, but in fact the girl at the desk immediately threw me off my game asking about Exfoliating , and Tan Extenders, Moisturizers, etc. It instantly hit me, i had unwittedly gotten myself into something Really Gay (not that there is anything wrong with that!). Now I bring him up because DMutt just got married, so he knows how to roll when your conversation suddenly veers into linens, napkins, complimentary hand lotion, etc. I, on the other hand, was taken completely aback and just had to wing it. Basically I pleaded ignorance and tried to follow the instructions even though i had no idea what she was talking about. If there had been (and there probably was now that i think about it) a camera in The Preparation Room, you basically would have seen my rubbing and scraping things and putting lotion on some parts but not others, oh, and mostly coming within inches of cracking my head open because like an idiot i put the white stuff on the bottom of my feet first and proceeded to go ice skating for a while.

Finally, I got to a point where I ran out of mysterious linaments to play with and decided it was time to enter The Chamber. This turned out to be a small booth with some dangerous looking nozzles and one bright green button. I fervantly prayed the same company that made the spray booth wasnt also making suicide booths, because this is the sort of thing i think about when im confronted with anything outside my comfort zone. Now part of The Process involves assuming various Kung Fu stances between blasts of The Fluid. Finally I worked up the nerve and pressed The Button and closed my eyes. There was a slight pause and then a click, and suddenly i was awash in a sea of sticky wet stuff (very funny) blasting me. Ok, I wont lie, it felt pretty good. This lasted for maybe 15 seconds, and then it was time to do a box step in the dark and assume the Eagles Beak Defense. And it blasted me for another 15 seconds. I had assumed the defensive postures were the operatives way of telling me i was going to be struck when my eyes were closed, not that i would once again almost crack my head open flailing around The Chamber blinded by The Mist. The Mist was another surprise, and it was everywhere. It was accompanied by a dull throbbing hum that led me to believe my time traveling adventures were about to begin, but alas when i opened the door back into The Preperation Room, The Mist did indeed roll out dramatically, but i was no further forward in time than I expected. The towelling off part of The Process was equally intricate, but ultimately anti-climactic.

The good news is, im now pretty orange and ready to go to Mexico. The bad news is I just told the world i went spray tanning.

Do these look like people who would do something wrong?
[ Jul 11, 2006 ]
 
meandjulie2.jpg I have to say, i'm getting a little nervous. Joe has disappeared, ostensively on a trip to Vegas with Frank the Hammer, the Monsignor, and Gardner and meeting up with WarHero88. I keep getting phone calls at all hours consisting of mocking laughter and incomprehensible jiberish I take to be some kind of imaginary code. Oh, and a message asking if there was a way to photo-shop Gardner out of all the pictures- that was all too real. Such a thing would make anyone uneasy, particularly someone as suspicious as myself. After all, just because you're paranoid doesnt mean everyone isnt against you.

Tank is either in hiding or protective custody . I take this to mean he is being sweated out under the lights by some shadowy government entity as i write this. No question he has flipped by now. Tank has never been one for not selling completely out under the slightest pressure. There's probably more skeletons coming to light than you'll see in that Keith Richards pirate documentary everyone is talking about.

Now that I think about it, everything is adding up. Aside from gigs, Jay never leaves his remote rural compound (which is right next to Art Bell's place). Jim lives a double life with multiple secret identities, Fred avoids being in the country as much as possible as a tax dodge, and Dario is homeless. These mother fuckers have bolted like rats from a sinking ship and left me holding the bag. Not this guy! Time to start burnin stuff.

The real problem is figuring out what not to admit to.

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